Relationships that blossomed through online connection are not uncommon these days. In fact, it has become acceptable to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend even without seeing that person in real life. Others still have reservations on how one possibly can fall in love without the physical connection, however in this digital day and age, online romantic relationships do happen.
Online personals websites are full of interesting men and women of all ages and professions. Perhaps one day, you might find yourself insanely charmed by that IT engineer from Germany or that preschool teacher from Thailand. Things are going well until you had an epiphany that things are not really going that well, and you want to get out of the relationship. The reasons vary, and it could be one or a combination of these realizations:
A. You prefer someone else who can be physically present with you.
B. A romantic relationship is not included in your priorities right now.
C. You think your current partner is not the one for you.
D. Your relationship with him/her is not going anywhere, therefore must be ended abruptly.
However, whatever the grounds you may have found yourself ending the relationship, breaking up with someone is never a pleasant experience. The challenge of terminating a relationship that started online is almost the same with saying goodbye to someone in real life. Issues such as boundaries, finality and if you sound convincing enough might pose potential problems in making the breakup official. Such difficulties are expected, but it should not discourage you from initiating the break-up. If you think a separation is the best thing for the relationship, then go on and do it. Hard as it is someone but someone’s got to do it. Meanwhile, take some fresh suggestions from this article on how to go about the break-up and make it happen.
Settle on the Best Method for a Discussion
Breaking up with someone calls for a private and serious discussion. You two may have been using social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook as a major form of communication; however pick the method which involves the highest form of privacy and comfort for the both parties. Chat is probably the best way to talk to someone that allows immediacy and flexibility the most. Skype, Yahoo Mail and GoogleTalk have great chat features. If you prefer a buffer between responses, then email probably works best for you.
Set a Specific Time and Date
Tell your romantic interest ahead of time that you need to talk, preferably a time that is both convenient for both of you. A message in the online personals websites may not be the best option for this. Just politely inform him/her that you need his/her full attention; thus a chat or email is preferred rather on social media sites. Once the date and time are set, commit yourself to the agreed schedule. Postponing it would only give your partner bad ideas. Stick with the schedule and deal with your partner on agreed day and time.
Initiate the Conversation
Since it was you who wanted a serious and private discussion, it is only proper that you start the communication. Waiting for your partner to begin the talk is not only tacky, but also impolite. If you want to make a good exit, make the impression that you want a serious discussion with him or her. Avoid mixing the atmosphere with humor because breaking up with someone is never a joke. If you want your partner to take your reasons for a separation, then set a serious mood.
Avoid using your term of endearment in an attempt to lighten up the hurt feelings. You have to understand that breaking up, coated with affection or not, always hurt. Better to keep your tone neutral and your mood serious; this way your partner will see that you are not kidding around and testing to see his/her reaction of losing you.
Say You Want to End the Relationship
Go straight to the point with your carefully rehearsed speech. Say everything you want to say without being interrupted, citing properly the points you want your partner to clearly see and why you are ending the relationship. Your romantic interest might get the idea that just because you met in one those online personals websites, you are not taking the relationship seriously. It is okay to feel nervous about the whole situation. After all, you are about to cause painful emotions to your partner and make him/her an ex.
Did you know someone who broke up with his/her partner and felt extremely confident about it? Even in situations where cheating and deceit are involved, breaking up is always awkward, so be gentle on yourself and gather the necessary strength and time you need. Your break up approach could contain the following:
An explanation of your overall feelings about the relationship. At this point, do not compare your previous relationships with your current one.
An explanation of the changes brought about by the relationship.
Avoid belittling your soon-to-be ex as a partner. A statement like “I met you at one of those online personal websites and I do not know if you are truly sincere and honest…”
An explanation of why you are terminating the relationship. At this point, it would be the rudest thing to imply that the break up is his or her fault. As much as possible, contain the discussion to the break-up and your reasons. Do not go back to previous events that upset one or both of you. It would only worsen the bad feelings starts to cloud your partner.
Be Firm with Your Decision
Of course, it is only natural that your partner will try to reason out with you why the relationship should continue. Listen to what he/she has to say, and do not to attempt to block out his/her thoughts. If your soon-to-be ex has some cloud of confusion, clear things up. Keep your tone neutral and your brace cool. Depends on the temperament of your romantic partner, he/she could be silently taking all the shocking news or could be screaming curses from anger. Whatever happens, be calm and do not start a fight. If your partner begins to talk trash about you online, just ignore it, politely suggest taking the discussion to a halt and resume when he/she has calmed down.
Say Your Farewell Remarks and Move On… For Good
Although there is a possibility of a fresh friendship later on, postpone it until both parties have no more ill feelings towards each other, especially your new ex. Moving on stands between 3 minutes to 30 years, so better cut of all forms of communication, and liking his/her status over Facebook counts as one. If you do not want to form a friendship with your ex , tell your former partner so he/she would not have false hopes.
If one relationship that formed over online personals websites ends bitterly, you should not generalize that people from online dating sites do not have the potential to be long-term partners. You can form good relationships with the help of internet personals sex websites. But you must read the sex personals website reviews and choose the legit sex dating personals sites to make sure, you don’t end up in relationship with a scammer. Relationships, whether formed online or offline, will crumble if the foundation is not strong and the parties involved lack the necessary love, care and respect for each other.
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